I have to make an apology to all my beautiful readers! I haven't been blogging very much this past month which upsets me more than I can describe! I could come up with every excuse under the sun but instead I'm going to be honest with you about why I've been a bit 'absent'. I'd love up tell you it's because I've been doing something amazing and exciting but it's not, well not the whole of why I haven't blogged is anyway!
First off, at the start of the month I went into a depressive state, I'd failed my driving test, didn't get 4 jobs of gone for and watched all my friends prepare to go to Uni. Now as self centered this must sound, I Felt jealous! I didn't want to go to Uni, never have if I'm honest, but I got that typical feeling of I want to do something with my life. It just felt like I was sinking and nothing could pull me out of the failure that I saw my life!
Nothing was working to make me feel better about things, not even the birth of my boyfriends niece, if anything it made me worse, watching another person be happy when your anything but happy! Now I'm not a selfish person I was happy for them! But I just wished something would go right for me, so after a long chat with my mum and with my boyfriend aswell I decided to stop feeling so sorry for myself and do something!
The first step? Well after thinking about what made me unhappy, I wrote a list of what I wanted to change in my life, no matter how small it was! It was a struggle to accept that I was unhappy but once I'd thought and discussed I instantly started to feel better! I won't start going into detail about my list as its quite personal to me, but I'll keep you informed!
I've already taken the steps to complete 4 out of the 10 things I wrote down which on brief overview is arranging to see a flat next week with my boyfriend, going to a job interview, with a company who I hope will see my potential, stated a diet and booked my driving test! I realized that no one could make me happy until I'm happy with myself and once again I'll be honest, without my blog and lovely followers I don't think id ever have come out of my slump. But truth is I now know its ok not to feel ok for a while! Because I'll always have people around me who support me.
I can't thank those who have helped me enough, from those close to me, to the companies giving me a chance to show my skills and also, you my followers, life has bumps in The road but with people around you, it's a smother ride (sorry for the cheese!)
Thanks for reading, I'll post more soon, cause I'm back!!
Much love, Emily xxxx